I talk about thank you notes a lot on the blog, and there’s a very good reason for that: they are one of the most fraught areas of etiquette. I field so many questions: when to send them, who to send them to, what they should look like, what they should say… you name it!
Just when I think I’ve answered every single thank you note question that exists, a dozen more crop up. When that happens, I know it’s time for another FAQ! This one will focus on the nitty-gritty details of thank you etiquette. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions in that area:
When should I send thank yous for shower gifts?
As soon as possible–you don’t want them hanging over your head while you’re trying to make wedding preparations! If you must procrastinate, I wouldn’t wait any longer than two weeks after the shower.
Do I send thank yous to guests who didn’t bring a gift?
Absolutely! Gifts should never be an expectation, and your thank yous should show appreciation for more than what your guests buy for you. Send thank yous to every single guest, including those who didn’t bring a gift. Use warm, sincere language to tell them how much their presence at your wedding meant to you.
How do I keep my thank you list organized?
Excel spreadsheets! You don’t need to be particularly tech-savvy to make them, and they are a great tool for tracking who gave (or sent) you which gift. Start it when you open the first gift, and keep the list going as you open each one. That way, you won’t end up looking at a huge pile trying to recall what the card said!
I forgot to send my thank yous on time! Is it too late?
Everybody overlooks something in the turmoil of wedding planning, execution, and recovery. Thank yous have got to be the most common! Even if it’s a year after the fact, the phrase “better late than never” applies here. Simply include an acknowledgment of your slip-up: a brief “This has been a long time coming!” or “We’re sorry this note is reaching you so late!” and all will be forgiven.
Any more questions about thank yous or etiquette? Send them my way!